The Taste of Tejas (Part 1)

Taste of Tejas quiz:

1. What is queso (other than the Spanish word for cheese)? Be specific.

2. True or false: Over the last decade small businesses have realized just how horrible styrofoam is for the environment and thankfully the product is a thing of the past.

3. True or false: The best Mexican restaurant in town is rarely found under the same roof as a corporate gas station.

4. How far must one travel to get the "Best BBQ in Texas"?

5. How many varieties of tea are commonly found while dining in a restaurant in Texas?

6. What is the most common thing to order for breakfast in Texas, especially while on the go?

7. How many languages must one know in order to order migas in Austin, Texas? Sub-question, What are migas?

8. What can commonly be found in the meat case at Fiesta Mart?
A) A whole, skinned cow head, eyeballs intact
B) Pigs legs with the hooves still attached
C) Foot-long cow tongues
D) All of the above

An ounce of queso has 300 calories. At least the queso found at Mikal's work. Queso is very popular in Texas. If you are reading this from north of the Mason-Dixon line, I should probably tell you that queso is really just nacho cheese, similar to what you would find at the 7-11, only taken much more seriously. I would like to dedicate this blog entry to the experience of dining in central Texas.

Before I get too far into it, I would like to take a step back to the previous entry 'Death, Destruction and Diatomaceous Earth'. I participated in the slaughter and preparation of six ducks a couple months ago. I decided to go with the Beatles 'White Album'. My only logical explanation for this is that it is two discs and de-feathering a single duck takes well over an hour, at least for a first timer. Anyway, back on track to "The Taste of Tejas!"

Styrofoam is a thing of the past, right? I mean, it will be in the landfill and on ocean beaches for well over the next 1.5million years, but no one in their right mind is still using it, right? Fair warning: if you order take-out in Texas, from Chinese to fine dining, expect a styrofoam clamshell style box, usually three-times the size of your meal. What's worse is you can even expect to get styrofoam when you order for here, especially ice tea. It seems odd to me to be in a place that takes so much pride in its landbase, sipping from a styrofoam cup. I'll find myself eating a hamburger under a massive Texas flag, staring at the eye sockets of a longhorn skull looking back at me. The waitress brings me the state beverage. Three cups of tea and six cups of ice, all mixed together with ample amounts of sugar in a 64oz thick, white, styrofoam cup. Sometimes I want to say, "This is the wild west, yo, can't I drink out of a rusted tin can or at least something made out of glass?" Marisa usually has the foresight to bring a quart or half-gallon jar for her restaurant beverages. As for me, maybe I'll start building a fishing vessel of some sort with all of these durable, otherwise useless, containers. Usually I just wait to get my afternoon caffeine fix after lunch. The upside is you can take your gigantic cup into almost any restaurant in town and get a free refill, because every one's to-go cup is exactly the same. The Nalgene of the south and it comes with a thousand lifetime guarantee.

As far as restaurant culture is concerned, there are three main aspects represented in Texas, Barbecue, Mexican and Tex-Mex. Finding the "Best BBQ in Texas" is easy. There is usually one restaurant in every small town that boasts the title and at least four or five in every city. The best BBQ I've had in Texas was in a little town called Lockehart. This place is timeless. I don't think a picture has been put up or taken off the wall since 1950. The fire they cook on is close enough to the cash register one could accidentally fall into it if they are not careful. They sell their fully cooked links, ribs and brisket by the pound, plus you have your choice of fat brisket or lean. The lean is actually quite fatty. They also offer a few slices of Wonderbread with every order and/or a half a packet of Saltines with the white plastic still on. The meat is served on two pieces of brown wax paper. The dining hall is made up of 8, enormous, cafeteria style tables. Pickles and jalapenos are complimentary and for a couple extra quarters you can purchase a whole avocado or a chunk of cheddar cheese from the nice ladies in the dining area. The sauce is served cold and a poster that shows all the old courthouses of Texas is framed neatly in the center of the wall, covered in dust. Even the prices seem to be timeless. We got three meals out of our order and paid less than seven dollars. It would seem the only way to get away from styrofoam in central Texas is to go somewhere that hasn't changed its business plan since the invention of plastics.

Stay tuned for part two.....